Sherlock and his Kitten
by FluffshipIsMagic
Summary: A series of drabbles/one-shots surrounding the consulting detective and his kitten, Petri. Sequel to The Furry Problem! Contains, fluff, Johnlock, John/Sherlock friendship, and more fluff... It is about a kitten, after all.
1. Introducing

*Curtain Opens* Hello, everyone! I'm finally back with plenty of Sherkitten drabbles on the way (that's what I've taken to calling it)! Before we begin, however, there are some things we must address:

1. This is a sequel of sorts to _The Furry Problem,_ a fluffy fanfiction written by yours truly _…_ If you have not read the story of how John and Sherlock first got their kitten, please do, but if you don't feel like it:

2. *SPOILERS* Sherly is allergic to kitties, John gets one, names him Petri, drama ensues, Sherly doesn't tell John that he is allergic and lets him keep the cat, falls in love with the cat, etc., etc, they rescue Petri darling from the dark and scary pound, John and Sherlock both realize that they love each other but don't know in what way so they continue to have a confusing but happy relationship in 221B. Phew!

3. These are short drabbles that don't follow each other at all unless otherwise mentioned. The only thing that is similar is that they all involve Petri.

4. I LOVE requests so so much, they are really helpful and though I can't guarantee that I'll do them, I most likely will. So please drop me a message, it makes my day!

5. I have a few songs that I listen to while working, so I thought I'd post them in case you were interested.

The Puppy Song – Harry Nilsson (Just substitute kitten for puppy)

Sleepy Cats Song – Tom Fletcher

Like a Soldier – Cady Groves (This fits Sherlock/John freakishly well, listen!)

Perfect Two – Auburn (Makes me smile, I dunno)


	2. Three Sleepy Flatmates

**Alright, here's the first of the two! Please review and favorite, Petri will purr, john will smile, and Sherlock will grin for a second and look away. :) **

**Disclaimer: *Looks around* Just me and Petri it would seem... *Hugs Petri closer***

Sherlock was not a people person. This was not news to anyone, but for some reason people felt free to ignore it as they pleased. Lestrade invited him to the pub, Molly invited him to coffee, Mrs. Hudson invited him to visit her friends… No one understood. Sherlock had just solved a rather long series of cases, and was finally getting to his sleeping point. Getting out of the cab, Sherlock sighed with pleasure. Finally, he was coming home. He burst into the flat, and was immediately greeted by a happy meow and running paws.

"Hello, Petri." The kitten stretched up on two feet, batting at the consulting detectives long legs. "Yes, I solved it. Has John come home? No, must be working late. Hungry then, right?" Sherlock scooped his beloved pet up in his arms and walked over to the counter, getting out Petri's petri dish and filling it with kitten formula. "There." Letting Petri walk on the counter to drink, Sherlock fondly looked at his kitten. "Now, you can't tell John you've been on the counter." Petri looked up with an annoyed expression. "What? I was just warning you, isn't that nicer than letting you forget? Apparently not," Sherlock mused as Petri continued to look annoyed.

The kitten finally finished his milk, licking his lips and yawning. Sherlock picked Petri up, taking him to their favorite spot: the couch. John had found him the best allergy medicine he could, and Sherlock almost never sneezed now. An expectant meow made Sherlock look down at the black creature now lying on his stomach. "Right, well, as I told you earlier, Mr. Peterson rushed back in to tell us that he had found a diamond (Which I told him was the recently stolen diamond) in the goose. I posted on my blog that anyone looking for a hat and goose should come to 221B, but then John informed me that _his_ blog would be better." Petri let out an annoyed meow, and Sherlock chuckled. "That's what I said, but you know John."

"And, in the end, John was right and I'm so very glad that I have my blogger because I would be lost and would not have solved the case without him." John stood in the doorway with a grin on his face, and Sherlock blushed while Petri ducked his head in shame.

"It would have reached him eventually." Sherlock mumbled.

John just laughed, walking over to pat the man's head. "Right, do you want some tea?"

"No." Sherlock said grumpily, petting Petri as he tried to look angry.

"Alright then. So, I imagine you solved the case?" John called from the kitchen.

"Brilliant deduction, John. Yes, of course I solved the case. Would I be home if I didn't?"

"You need some sleep."

"Actually, John, you'll be happy to know that I was planning on sleeping today before you barged in."

"Bragging to Petri is not sleeping, Sherlock."

The consulting detective rolled his eyes. "Obviously. And it's not bragging, Petri happens to _like_ hearing about my cases."

John came back into the main room and motioned for Sherlock to move over. "No. There are other chairs to sit on." The doctor sighed, and Sherlock finally took the time to actually look at his friend. "Oh, you had a hard day. Fine then, sit."

John smiled, and fell back into the couch. Petri struggled in Sherlock's hands, and the consulting detective reluctantly let go, watching as Petri walked over to snuggle with John. "My kitten with my doctor. Unfair."

John picked Petri up, looking down at his lap. "C'mon then."

Sherlock stared at John, making sure he was serious. Finally, he placed his head on the doctor's lap, a quick smile flashing over his face. John placed Petri on the arm rest, and the kitten immediately curled up and started to purr. "Just because I'm too lazy to go to my bed," the detective mumbled. John laughed quietly. "Right. And I'm only doing this because I'm concerned for your sleeping habits."

Petri meowed. Sherlock slightly moved his head to look at the kitten. "Apparently, only Petri is here because he actually wants to be." John laughed and Sherlock smiled, both aware that Sherlock's statement was a total lie as they drifted off to sleep.

**Awwww... As always, suggestions are more than welcome! I will update as much as I can. (The more suggestions I have the more often I'll write *hint hint*. ) Oh, congrats to whoever gets the ACD story reference in this drabble... I love you all like Sherly and Johnny love Petri! Coming Up Next: Tea time with Petri!**


	3. Pushover

**This is my favorite so far, it makes me very happy inside... :) Anywho, please alert/favorite/review, words cannot express how much they make my day! **

**Disclaimer: Petri? Check. Sherlock? Che- No wait, never mind... *Sighs***

John and Sherlock made tea. Well, John made tea and Sherlock drank it. Whenever John was stressed, Sherlock was mad, or they simply wanted tea, John would make it. Petri observed this tradition for a couple of days before deciding that he should play a part.

A small meow made John look down from the counter. "Hi, Petri." John averted his attention from the kitten back to his tea, adding a bit of cream into Sherlock's cup. Suddenly, Petri was on the counter, making John drop the cream container because he didn't think Petri could even _do_ that. "Jesus!" John tried to grab the kitten, but Petri ducked out of reach and continued to run along the counter.

"John?" Sherlock looked up from his laptop in the main room.

"I'm fine. It's just- your kitten has managed to jump up onto our counter. Is that…Normal?"

"Did you _see_ him jump?" Sherlock was beside John almost instantly, making the doctor start again.

"Jes- No, no I didn't, but he's on the counter so…"

"You made the most obvious conclusion. Really, John, have you learned nothing from our cases?"

"Apparently not."

Sherlock rolled his eyes. "Petri climbed using the knobs on the drawers."

John just nodded in assent, staring at the black kitten peeking out from behind the sugar jar. Petri cautiously walked back towards the detective and the doctor, stopping at the puddle of spilt cream. John reached out, only to be stopped by Sherlock.

"A little bit of cream won't hurt him."

John looked at his friend in disbelief. Sherlock frowned slightly, his light blue eyes quizzical. "Problem?"

"You are _such_ a pushover!"

Sherlock let go of John's wrist, offended. "John, I was only stating a fact. As long as he drinks kitten formula as his basic diet, a dash of cream now and then won't hurt him. It's like a human eating cake. You can't eat only cake, but-"

"I get it, Sherlock. But this _won't_ become a habit."

"Of course not, John."

The doctor laughed, shaking his head as he took his cup of tea and walked back to his armchair.

Sherlock looked over at his kitten, which had lapped up all of the cream on the counter and was now staring at him. He grinned slightly, taking Petri in his arms. "Don't worry." He whispered, "John doesn't mean it."

The next day while John was making tea, Sherlock splashed a bit of cream into a petri dish. John looked over at his friend and rolled his eyes. Petri climbed onto the counter and lapped it up.

The day after that, Sherlock was sitting on the couch, thinking, while John made tea for them. Petri ran up to John and rubbed his head against the doctor's legs. John looked over at Sherlock, who had his eyes closed. Very quietly, John got out a petri dish and splashed a bit of cream into it. "Don't tell Sherlock," he whispered. Petri meowed gratefully and started to drink. John smiled fondly at the black kitten, completely unaware of someone getting off the couch and heading towards the kitchen.

"Pushover," Sherlock said softly, a small smile on his face. John turned quickly, his cheeks slightly red.

"Shut up."

**Oh, I do love Sherlock spoiling his kitten! It is now up to you, my darling readers, to tell me what you thought or what you want for future drabbles! Cups of tea will be sent your way. Coming up next: It rhymes with Polly and Moby... Can you guess? I love you like Petri loves his splash of cream!**


	4. A Small Meow in the Night

**Hello everyone! The "Polly and Moby" story will be coming soon, but it's quite a bit longer than usual and it's taking longer to finish. Thank you all for the ideas, I have gotten some absolutely brilliant ones from a lot of people. This suggestion came from the lovely imSiriuslyLupin4you, thank you so much! Fluffiness and johnlock, you have been warned.**

**Disclaimer: I own Petri, but not the wonderful world of BBC Sherlock... :(**

Sherlock had helped John a lot. He had fixed his psychosomatic limp, cured his loneliness, given him a best friend, and given him a life of adventure that no one else could offer. The one thing that Sherlock couldn't fix, however, was the nightmares. John still had them, although less often than before. John didn't realize it, but this haunted Sherlock to no end. It killed him to hear John's suffering and not know what to do.

Fortunately, the newest addition to 221B did. Petri was sleeping comfortably on Sherlock's bed while the detective worked on his laptop, purring happily. Suddenly, they heard a shout coming from upstairs.

Petri turned to look at Sherlock, meowing out a question. "John still has PTSD… He gets nightmares, sometimes. It'll be over in four minutes and twenty-seven seconds, approximately. We just have to sit it out." Sherlock tried to sound annoyed, but his voice caught. Petri licked the detective's hand before climbing back down the bed, strutting determinedly towards the stairs. Sherlock watched, contemplating following the kitten. He had watched John during one of his nightmares before, and had no desire to feel that sharp pain in his chest again. However, he was curious, and it would be a good experiment to see Petri's reaction to seeing what the kitten thought of as his mother in pain.

Sherlock caught up to the kitten easily, as Petri was still trying to climb up the stairs. He picked Petri up and carried him the rest of the way, ignoring Petri's agitated meows. Very quietly, he opened the door to John's room and felt his heart stop once again. His poor John was sweating, and had managed to kick off all of the sheets and was thrashing around the bed in obvious pain. Sherlock placed Petri on the ground, and leaned against the wall, turning away from his friend. He had always been afraid of waking him, because the shock might make his friend jump even more or fall off the bed.

Petri meowed even louder, running to the bed and climbing up it at lightning speed. John had stilled for the moment, and Petri took the moment to dash towards the doctor. Petri batted at John's face, meowing louder and louder. When that didn't work, the kitten started licking his friend's face, meowing in between licks. Finally, John's eyes shot open, looking into the blue eyes of his tiny kitten. He propped himself up on his elbows, taking his entire room in. By this time, Sherlock had left, rubbing his eyes furiously and walking downstairs to play his violin.

John looked back at Petri, petting his black fur and pulling him closer. "Thank you, Petri." The kitten started to purr, and the feel of his breathing relaxed John's own. Slowly, he fell back asleep, and stayed that way while Sherlock came back upstairs to check on him, nodding his thanks to Petri as he patted John's hair.

From that day on, whenever John had a nightmare Sherlock would take Petri upstairs, and the kitten would wake the doctor up. It wasn't until months later that Sherlock stayed with Petri, watching the doctor wake up silently. He was surprised when he found John's arms wrapped around him in a hug. "It's alright, John. It's okay now," he said quietly, expecting John to let him go when he was fully awake. That wasn't the case, however, and Sherlock sat down on the bed, holding onto John as he fell back asleep. Petri watched happily, purring as he snuggled between the two.

**Ta-da! Please review, alert, favorite, and thanks a billion to the people who already have! Still Coming Up: Sherly has separation issues...Awww...(Part of "Polly and Moby") I love you like John loves tea!**


	5. Thunderstorms

**Hey everyone! This sort of connects with the previous drabble, and was inspired by my own hatred of thunderstorms. No, this is not the Molly and Toby story you were promised, I'm finding myself struggling with that, I've never written Molly before. Any advice/suggestions are appreciated. I hope you like this one, though! Oh, and Petri "talks" a bit in this one, so for a quick lesson in kitten-speak:**

**Mom = John (Simply because John found Petri and nurtured him)**

**LongLegs = Sherlock (Sherlock's tall, especially for a kitten)**

**That's all! And, no, I don't own Sherlock, words cannot express how much I wish I did...**

Sherlock hated summer. It didn't allow him to wear his favorite scarf and coat, and the heat made it harder to think clearly. Sherlock also got sunburned faster than any human being alive, so he couldn't really walk around London on a whim, it would always take him longer to prepare. Plus, the criminals seemed to get lazier and the murder rate lessoned, which, Sherlock had to keep reminding himself, was a good thing. However, it made life incredibly dull for the world's only hot, stuck indoors, and deathly bored consulting detective.

Petri hated summer. Granted, this was his first summer and, being a kitten, he didn't understand it as a season, but he was not enjoying it. He had recently been taken out of his wonderful home and into a cold, loud place that he associated with the human sound "vet". Mom had been with him the entire time, but a strange person had touched him and then his entire sense of masculinity had washed away. It didn't hurt, unless embarrassment counted. Then, the heat was slowly cooking him inside his black fur. It didn't end there, though, because Mom or LongLegs had decided to change his food, and the new stuff tasted bland. The only thing making him feel better was that was LongLegs was suffering too.

John hated summer. Well, hate was a strong word because he only hated one thing about it: Thunderstorms. Something about the loud clanging noises reminded him of the army like nothing else, and he would lie awake sweating and terrified for hours. He had managed to keep it hidden from Sherlock for a long time now, but this year with Petri picking up on his nightmares and Sherlock's newfound habit of checking in on John while he was sleeping left the doctor sure that they would find him out. He was right.

* * *

"John?" Sherlock called to his friend after watching Petri run around and meow for a few minutes.

"What?" John appeared in the main room.

"Petri…He's been acting like that for a few minutes now. Does this normally happen after an… Operation?"

John laughed, shaking his head at his friend's discomfort. His smile quickly disappeared, however, when a thought struck him. He looked out the window, then down at Petri, before grabbing his laptop. Sherlock observed John quietly as the doctor got more and more tense, finally shutting off the laptop and running his hands through his hair.

"John? What's wrong?" Sherlock had his caring face on, one that he reserved for John only, and one that John loved to see, except at times like these.

"Nothing… Petri's just tense because he senses a storm. It happens with animals. I just looked it up and they're expecting a … thunderstorm tonight."

"Thunderstorm," Sherlock murmured quietly, still staring intently at his friend. "Oh." Sherlock got up the moment he realized John's problem, then sat back down, unsure of what he should do. "Every time?" Sherlock said quietly, cursing himself for not figuring it out last year, or the year before that.

"Yeah, well, you know how it is. Just like the, um," John stopped, not wanting to say it out loud.

Sherlock nodded, understanding. Before either of them could say anything, Sherlock got a text from Lestrade, and started reading over the information greedily.

"Right, well, I'm going out for a walk."

* * *

The storm started at ten o' clock that night, making Petri run around insanely, John throw a pillow over his head, and Sherlock look up from his experiment completely and utterly lost on what to do.

He took care of Petri first, grabbing the kitten and stroking him. He murmured one of his favorite case stories to the shaking mound of fur, finally calming Petri into sleep. Sherlock gently laid him down on the couch, looking up towards John's room worriedly.

Practically running up the stairs, he managed to slow his pace as he reached John's door. Not bothering to knock, Sherlock walked straight in. "John?"

The shorter man moaned slightly, shaking his head into his pillow.

Sherlock was determined to comfort his best friend, however, and continued to speak. "John, I realize that you want to be alone during this, but… If you need me, or, want me to be here, I am. You're still the bravest person I've ever met, and no fear of thunderstorms is going to change that. The only reason you have it is because you fought in the military to save other people. Logically, your exceeding amount of bravery resulted in this one small fear, so it doesn't count as a sign of weakness like normal fears do." Sherlock finally took a breath, looking down at his non responsive friend.

He began to wonder if John had even heard him when a muffled voice said, "Thank you. Please stay."

Sherlock smiled, but then wondered if he was supposed to stand or sit on John's bed. He stood there awkwardly, looking in his mind palace for answers, until John started laughing. "That mean you can get on the bed, idiot."

Oh. Carefully, Sherlock sat down next to John, fluffing out a pillow. The thunder was becoming more frequent, the loud noises rumbling through the flat. John's hands were clutching his pillow, and his eyes were squeezed tight. Sherlock felt his stomach clench, desperately wishing he could do something. The next clap of thunder was especially loud, making Sherlock jump a little and John roll over in misery, unknowing pressing himself into Sherlock. They both tensed at first, but the thunder made John not care soon enough, and he buried his head into Sherlock's robe.

The man wearing the robe was still in shock, but his overwhelming care for John made him forget all of his questions. He simply wrapped his arms around John, protecting his doctor from the storm. Downstairs, Petri was still sleeping soundly, completely oblivious to the world around him. It would seem that Sherlock had managed to comfort both of his flat mates tonight, being much better at sentiment than one would think.

**Yay for caring Sherlock! I hope this wasn't too cheesy... I, personally, can't get enough of fluffy things! Oh, and this is more Johnlock than Sherkitten *Ducks head in shame*. Next one will focus almost entirely on Petri, I promise! As always, requests welcome, I love them lots. Also, any advice or ideas on the Molly and Toby story would be helpful too. (I just don't know what should happen, exactly..Ergh!) Thanks for your lovely reviews/reads my darlings, I love you all like Mycroft loves his umbrella!**


	6. Cuddly

**Hey everybody! This one is shorter than most, but very, well... Cuddly! You can thank Jenna Yemowa for influencing me to put one up today, Petri does love ice cream...**

"Sherlock, did you feed Petri this morning?" John and Sherlock were observing a body, Lestrade standing by.

"Yes, why?"

"Well, he kept meowing but the kitten formula was first in the fridge, so I figured he was just pretending, but I wanted to check."

"What about the formula?"

"You were working on your experiment late last night, after I had fed Petri, but the kitten formula was in front of the…toes, I think they were?"

"That was…Very observant of you." Sherlock's eyes flickered, looking at John in admiration.

"Yeah, well… You can't live with the World's only consulting detective without picking up a few things."

"Wait…Hang on, you named your cat Petri?" John and Sherlock stopped staring at each other to look over at Lestrade.

"Yes, it's, well… He won't drink out of anything but a petri dish."

"Oh, it's a good name for a cat living with Sherlock and John. Scientific, but cute."

"Are you saying that I'm scientific while John's…cute?" Sherlock looked John up and down as he said cute, making John uncomfortable.

"Sort of, yeah." Lestrade turned to also look at John, making the doctor incredibly uncomfortable.

"Everyone seems to be forgetting that I'm a soldier. I'm not 'cute' or 'cuddly' or any of the things that you people are considering!"

Lestrade put his hands up in defense, while Sherlock smirked. "Well, your jumpers do give you a rather cuddly appearance."

John glared at Sherlock full strength before leaving the room, muttering, "You can't wear comfortable clothes anymore without being called cuddly."

Walking into the flat thirty minutes later, John picked up Petri and walked upstairs to his bedroom. "If anyone's cute, it's you. Not me. I'm a soldier, for God's sake!" Petri meowed in sympathy.

Sherlock entered the flat hours later, checking in on John and finding him and Petri snuggled up on John's bed. Tentatively, he reached out to stroke John's jumper, smiling to himself. "Definitely cuddly." Sherlock walked back to his room, happy to have proved his theory.

***Smiles* Oh, darling John and his jumpers... Anywho, please review and send me requests! Coming up next: Sherlock Vs. Petri in litter box training... Oh dear. To YES (A guest reviewer) thanks for making me laugh with your review! You guys are all so positive and wonderful, I can count on my reviewers to make me feel better and inspire me daily! I love you like Moriarty loves his Westwood!**


	7. Petri Vs Litter Box

**So sorry about the delay my darlings, I just discovered that I can actually draw and so have been focusing on that... I hope this very silly and completely Petri POV chapter makes up for it! As always, Sherlock = LongLegs; Mom = Johnny.**

**Disclaimer: Oh hey Petri! Where are John and Sherlock? We don't own them? Dang it. I guess we'll just eat ice cream and drown our sorrows...**

Petri was nothing like the lowly and incredibly stupid dogs that prowled the streets. He liked the warmth of the fireplace while Mom brushed his fur. He liked drinking his little bit of cream early in the morning. He liked sleeping anywhere in the flat, particularly in Mom or Longlegs' lap. He was content to sleep anywhere in the flat for the rest of his life. There were, however, things that stopped his fantasy from coming true. Things like eating and drinking and disposing of the digested food.

The latter thing was causing Petri a lot of distress lately, because apparently he was not allowed to go where he pleased. Doing so resulted in an angry Mom and a light spray of water in his face. The worst part of it all was that every once in a while one of his flatmates would pick him up and take him into the freezing cold outside world. They obviously expected him simply to go on the concrete or around a stupid bush, but Petri refused. He went when and where he wanted to go, and that was that. He was wondering when this game would ever stop, when Mom changed everything.

Mom had put a giant box in the room that morning, talked to LongLegs, and left. Then, the freakishly tall human had stared at him for what seemed like hours, and started talking. None of the words were recognizable to Petri, who was starting to get very bored.

Suddenly, LongLegs got up, grabbed Petri and practically threw him into the box. Well, this was new. The box smelled weird, and was filled with a substance that looked a lot like dirt. It was actually quite soft, and easy to dig – Oh. They expected him to go in this box. Petri looked around, weighing his options. On one hand, the box wasn't so bad and he could go in it without being sprayed with water, but it would mean losing the game.

Petri held his head up, and climbed out of the box, completely ignoring LongLegs as he headed to the couch. Longlegs started yelling, but stopped after awhile, deciding to simply cross his arms in a completely human and lowly manner. Petri was above all that, simply refusing to look at the black-furred man.

They stayed this way for hours, each expecting the other to lose. All of the sudden, Petri started to get a little fidgety. Uh oh. He wasn't going to be able to hold it in much longer. The kitten started to panic, until he reminded himself that he could, indeed, go on the floor. Better yet, he saw a blue robe lying temptingly on the kitchen floor…

LongLegs was up in a flash, grabbing Petri before he could run away and placing him in the box, and then placing another box with a small hole over that, making escape impossible. How could he have not seen this coming? Petri was not one to give up easily, however, and he quickly formed a new plan: He would appeal to the human's soft side. Meowing so pitifully that one would assume he was on the verge of dying, Petri waited patiently for LongLegs to whip the lid off. Any time now…

This was taking too long. Petri was starting to feel very ill, and knew that he only had a second left until he would lose. Letting out one last death meow, Petri gave in. Covering his mess with the dirt, he batted at the box. LongLegs lifted the lid, showing the human emotions for happy. Petri was preparing to go hide under Mom's bed, when a delicious smelling thing was thrust close to his mouth. He looked up at LongLegs in surprise, wondering what it was. It smelled really, really good though, and Petri found himself eating it, tasting the most wonderful thing he'd had since Mom rescued him. Did he get these every time he went in the box? Well, in that case… Maybe losing wasn't all that bad.

**Treats do make things a little better... Kind of like reviews! *Hint hint* Thanks to everyone who's reading and reviewing, more chapters should be coming up, I'm just a wee bit down on inspiration... Hugs and suggestions appreciated! _ AND, would you like to see Sherlock's side of this scene? _Please tell me if you would, I can imagine Sherlock having a lot to say on Petri's behavior... I love you like Lestrade loves his division!**


	8. Sherlock Vs Litter Box

**Yay! I finally finished Sherlock's POV. Please read the previous drabble first, it works better that way. (I think). Thanks to everyone for reviewing, alerting, adding to favorites, etc., it really makes my day! You can thank imSiriuslyLupin4you, Jenna Yemowa, BADAZZtoldya, and Guest for requesting Sherly's POV. While we're at it, lots of love to amirizar2003, I can always count on your reviews, Amaya Ramiel, you seriously say the sweetest things, and KeepCalm, for the continued support and being my twin ;) !**

**Disclaimer: *Watches Sherlock BBC with Petri while drinking tea* Hmm? Oh no, just Petri and me hanging out. We don't own Sherlock or Johnny... *Sighs***

When John had first dragged the litter box into their flat, Sherlock had been excited. Seeing John and Petri face off in an attempt at house training would be incredibly entertaining. The excitement faded, however, when John had placed a piece of paper in front of him entitled, "How to Litter Train a Kitten."

Sherlock looked up at his friend in amusement. "You don't actually expect me to-"

"Yes, yes I do. You're going to litter train that kitten who, I'd like to mention, you have taken to calling _yours. _It's not my responsibility. Petri needs to be litter trained, and I've been called into work. I made some notes, follow the instructions, and _don't,_ I repeat, _don't_ try to experiment on Petri's… Urine, bladder, or anything related to it!" John raised his voice at the last part, and abruptly headed for the door, completely aware of how ridiculous that sentence sounded. Then again, he was the probably the only human being who asked "Would you mind taking the (name body part) out of the microwave?" on a regular basis.

Sherlock stared after his friend, chuckling a bit at John's temper before reality sunk in. He really had to litter train Petri. Sherlock looked over at the kitten, which was looking up at him with challenging eyes. Well, he didn't_ have_ to; John would just be angry and ignore him for a while, probably leaving him to go to the pub with his friends, where he would start talking to a pretty girl, and then, he might just hit it off with her, start dating her, and if things got even more serious he might move out and get married-

Sherlock's eyes snapped open. How hard could litter training really be? Sherlock looked over the ridiculously cheesy pamphlet, contemplating. He could use his intelligence and spend his otherwise boring day (there were no good cases) teaching the intelligent mound of fur how to use the bathroom properly, or deal with an angry John, a smelly mess, and John getting married.

In a sudden dash of frenzy, Sherlock scanned the paper, looking at the number circled. "Place your kitten in its litter box, so it can get used to all of the new smells!" Sherlock rolled his eyes at the idiocy of it all while he jumped over and grabbed Petri. He placed the kitten in the litter box, waiting as patiently as he could.

Petri was Sherlock's cat; therefore he would catch on quicker than most kittens. Sherlock smiled as Petri looked around, the kitten's blue eyes scanning the litter and digging into it with his tiny paws. The consulting detective almost laughed at how easy this was. His grin vanished, however, when Petri stuck his nose up and marched out of the box, making a small jump to land on the floor of the flat.

"Stupid cat! Can't you SEE what's going on? I'm trying to let you…go…without having to be thrown outside! Ugh! Why can't you just go? It's a box, you relieve yourself in it. Are you really that dumb? I expected better from you! What's John going to say? He'll be disappointed in you and your childish behavior." Petri continued to stare at Sherlock, and the detective swore that the kitten was smirking. "Oh. I see. You think John likes you better? I've been with him longer, he's my doctor. Not your vet or mom. He's mine. And he'll take my side on this, I'm sure."

By this point, Sherlock was bluffing, because John never took his side on things, unless it was defending his intelligence. Then he was the most loyal person alive, but when it came to a kitten, John took Petri's side on everything. The back of his mind reminded him that John had chosen Sherlock over Petri when he found out that Sherlock was allergic, but he ignored it, choosing to cross his arms and sit on his chair.

He was going over ways to explain the situation to John, when something in the corner caught his eye. Petri was becoming rather fidgety, eyes darting back and forth. Something from the pamphlet came back to him, ""You might be amazed to know that a kitten shows signs of needing to use the potty! Kittens tend to cry and run urgently towards a hiding spot. Watch carefully, and be nice when you pick the kitten up and place it in the box!" Sherlock looked over at Petri, who wasn't crying or running towards a hiding spot, but he was obviously uncomfortable, probably trying to restrain himself.

Suddenly, a plan formed in the detective's brain, and he quietly reached for the box that had previously held toes and was lying on the kitchen table. Finding a knife, Sherlock cut out a hole. Satisfied, he looked over at the kitten, who was still sitting with a determined look in his eyes. Sherlock took a second to admire the cat's stubbornness before he saw Petri look towards his blue robe.

_He wouldn't. _Sherlock didn't take the time to find out, launching himself towards the kitten, and catching Petri, ignoring the loud meowing and attempts at biting. Glad that he had remembered his allergy medicine, Sherlock ignored the black kitten, grabbing his toe box on the way to the litter box. A bit too harshly, Sherlock dropped Petri into the litter box and threw the cardboard box on top of it. There was no chance of escape now, and Petri had to go in the box or else.

As he waited patiently, Sherlock skimmed the pamphlet. Apparently, rewarding the kitten with treats helped. That was convenient, because Sherlock had planned on doing some experiments with training Petri that involved treats. Of course, he was planning to work on things like silencing the phone, biting enemies, and retrieving pens, not something as dull and ordinary as litter box training. However, he got his package of treats anyways, patiently waiting. While this had been going on Sherlock had heard Petri's pleading cries, but they didn't move him in any way. "Shut up!" he told Petri, "You're going to make Mrs. Hudson rethink her decision. You're even making me rethink that decision."

After one last meow, Petri fell silent, and Sherlock thought there was not a more glorious sound than Petri going "potty" as the pamphlet said. Well, at the moment, simply because it meant victory. After Petri was through, Sherlock lifted the lid, and gave Petri his treat.

Hours later, John returned to find Sherlock reading his book. "Well?" he said, a grimace on his face. The doctor had obviously been expecting the worse.

"Petri is now a proper gentle-kitten." Sherlock looked up; a proud and happy look in his eyes that only John could catch.

John smiled, petting Petri and patting Sherlock on the shoulder. "Dinner?" he asked.

"Starving." Sherlock had felt close to giddy when he had seen John's satisfied face, a loving look aimed towards him, Sherlock Holmes. The detective closed the book he hadn't really been reading in the first place and felt a sense of satisfaction wash over him as he grabbed his coat to go to Angelo's. No, John wouldn't be getting married anytime soon. At least not to anyone but him, that is.

**Hehehehe... I couldn't resist adding that last line. :) Anyways, if you're confused on the Mrs. Hudson decision part, that's alluding to a scene I haven't written (it was also suggested by Jenna Yemowa), that will be explained some point in my life, maybe sooner if someone sends cookies *cough*. This story is much longer than Petri's side, Sherlock had a lot more to say on the matter... (I mean, it's Sherlock) As always, suggestions welcome, no guarantees but they DO inspire me and I love each and every one of them, so keep em coming! Thanks again for reading and being darling! I love you like Sherlock loves his skull! Oh, Petri just stopped by to say he loves you too! (Well, he's purring so I'm really just guessing here, but I think that's what he means)**


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